I tell a joke about the first time I went to my college campus and took the elevator up.  A few more people came in, and I turned sideways to make room, and didn’t change in target profile at all.  An aspect ratio of 1:1 sucks.

So, I decided to kick the diet up a notch, and instead of just doing the standard Hacker’s Diet, to instead do Atkins, for it had worked for me in the past (but at that time I was 15, only 240 lbs, and in Marching Band, and therefore saw no need to give up my three gallons of Dr. Pepper).

One of the things I like about the Hacker’s Diet is that it averages scale measurements over time, smoothing out the error imposed by water variations, angle of my standing on the scale, personal disposition, lunar tides, etc… all the variations that can make or break a diet.  It gives a clear trend line for weight.  And I like that.  It’s more encouraging to see a steady trend line than a wavering line.

The goal of weight loss is to convince my body to use up the 700,000 calories thats standing in between me and my goal weight.  That’s…

• 4,667 cans of Dr. Pepper
• 70,000 minutes of “house work”
• 70,000 Whopper Malt Balls
• 2,892 Miles Run (Kemp, Texas to Sebeka, Minnesota and back)
• 921 Burger King Whoppers with Cheese

Working the standard Hacker’s Diet approach of just attempting to “reduce” calories eaten would take a long time.   Anywhere from 3-20 years, depending on just how deep I can get into caloric reduction.  The good news is that I now weigh so much that my basal calorie cost is so high that there’s plenty of room to cut, but even so, there’s a reason why I eat so much and it has little to do with depression or boredom.

It’s because I hate to cook and therefore eat Mac and Cheese.

And Mac and Cheese fails to fill.

And this is where Atkins comes in to my plan.

Atkins asks us to look at diets differently.  Generally, when an American thinks “Diet” they think “Reduction of food for the purpose of curing a health problem.”  When the dictionary thinks “Diet,” however, it generally has a broader view of the term.  ”The way you eat.”

Atkins says, look, you’ve been fat forever, and even when you eat “healthy” you stay fat, so perhaps for your metabolism what you’ve considered “heathy” is in point of fact not.  And if you haven’t been eating “healthy” now is as good a chance as any to start.

He also says “Get off your lazy @$$ and cook some food.”

So, I’m taking the opportunity to learn how to cook.  I’m also taking the opportunity to try out different foods, as Mac and Cheese and Meat Lover’s Pizzas definitely knock down various cravings of mine, but always leave me wishing I’d walked the road less traveled on [away from those foods] when the gastronomical reprocussions hit.

TL;DR

The plan is to combine the weight tracking system of the Hacker’s Diet with the Dietary advice of Atkins to more efficiently convert my body to actually using up the 200 pounds (about 700,000 calories) standing between me and my goal weight.

I’ve got ample encouragement;  I’m overweight, all my furnature creaks, it hurts to get up from bed, and I can’t walk through a decently sized Big Box Mart without needing a breather.  I’m more than likely minutes away from Diabetic Shock, and in a year or so without change you’d see me on the cover of National Enquirer.

I also plan to set up a more complex (or complete, depending on your point of view) data gathering system.  Why gather all the data and publish it on my blog?  Well, other than the challenge, the other reason is that everyone can now see my data and if I start slipping everyone will know.

Finally, I’m not doing pure 100% Induction the first week or so, for I have to wait for my next paycheck to really be able to afford the good food, as well as taking this time to go ahead and munch down on the rest of the Mac and Cheese in my house, etc.  Which is fine anyway, for the Hacker’s Diet needs a few data points without significant weight loss to set the smoothing functions.